The Suicide Walk

The Suicide Walk

‘Do you ever feel so much you think you might die?’

‘Yes’ she said. ‘And when I do I take myself on a suicide walk. I put on my favourite socks and notice the softness, I lace up my boots and wriggle my toes. And I start walking. As I walk I deny myself no emotion: I grasp at every desire, longing, regret, pang and happiness. I let myself miss the present moment, I let myself feel time falling from my fingertips, I look at all the houses I’d like to live in, imagine all the lives I could lead, all the alternatives that lie waiting. I fall in love with every man, consider falling in love with women, I hold every child’s hand, I tell every group of friends how precious it is to be together. I feel heartbroken, I miss him, I wish I’d spoken to her, I wish I’d gone to that party, told them my feelings, I wish I’d reacted like this, formed that argument, read that novel, watched that film, been to those gigs, travelled to those places, saved that money…

and by the time I reach the edge of the downs, I realise that I am still alive and that it’s completely possible to keep going’

Morning Grey

Morning Grey

Why I Love Women Who Laugh

Why I Love Women Who Laugh